Shelves: nonfiction , memoir , trashy The cover of The Vixen Diaries features a grainy photo of a dead-looking Karrine Steffans throttling herself with a long phone cord. She is clearly attempting to seduce the camera, but it all feels off; her lips are pale and pasty, her eyes are blackened into oblivion. There is some level of glamour that she is striving for that never really existed, except in her own mind. The gossip was indeed juicy, but I The cover of The Vixen Diaries features a grainy photo of a dead-looking Karrine Steffans throttling herself with a long phone cord.
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Emerging from the dark shadows of her tragic past, Karrine is ready to set fire to her old reputation and give birth to her true identity. In spite of the naysayers, Karrine unabashedly continues to use her pain to educate, uplift and inspire women all of over the world.
Although the media continues to vilify her and put her in a box, there are always two sides to a story and Karrine is finally ready to tell hers. A highly sought after speaker, interior stylist, and book publisher, Karrine is teaching women how to be the masters of their minds, bodies, and souls. Forget about what you think you know about Karrine Steffans and learn the truth about the woman behind the brand.
Florence: If you could squash one misconception people have about you, what would it be? Florence: You are harshly judged because of your past. Do you ever regret going public about your journey? KS: No, not at all.
I think regrets are things people make up in their heads. Everything turned out exactly the way it was supposed to. Everyone has a past. Never regret sharing your journey because that helps other people in theirs, so no one should regret that. Florence: In interviews, you mentioned being in abusive relationships in the past. How did it change your relationships with men? My first abusive relationship was with my mother and so, abuse has always been my language.
It took me 33 years to teach myself a new language and so, being brought up in an abusive household--never feeling loved, always feeling put upon, being abused sexually as a child, being raped--all of those things formulated the woman I was, who I am, and who I am becoming.
So, when it comes to my interpersonal relationships with men, of course, a lifetime of abuse vastly affected everything I did. I always came from a place of abuse, actually wanting, welcoming, and accepting it because that was my language. It never seemed strange to me. Florence: How have you been able to heal and become more empowered? KS: I am actually the same exact person. What changes is our behavior. People who have always known me and who have loved me have seen me this way.
But, what has changed is my behavior, the behavior I give out and the behavior I accept, including my rhetoric. As for the healing, that comes from the writing, from living and writing. I had questions. I wanted to know what the statistics were when a young girl in her formative years is beaten, and raped. What happens to her afterward? I wanted to know where those behaviors came from and it helped me to be a better writer. I write about myself, therefore, I must know my subject.
I have to do research on my subject. I just happen to have a whole lot of help these days and a great support system. Plus, I have this wonderful job that allows me to write it all down. What initially attracted you to him? KS: When he and I first met, we laughed a lot. He was funny and we talked on the phone for a while before we saw each other in person. I only knew him cerebrally. So, we connected on that level first and then, by the time I saw him and was in his presence, what I loved about him was that he always knew he was who he is.
He exuded so much confidence and control over his life, his business and I saw how the other men around him respected him. I am only attracted to powerful men because I am a very powerful woman. I appreciated being the lady in the room. I loved that he was a gentleman, that he would always make sure I was okay. If he was out all day doing something and I was stuck at home, he would send somebody back to the house to make sure I had food and whatever I needed.
He would make sure, no matter how busy he was, that I was well taken care of. I just loved that about him. And he loves. He is not afraid to say I love you.
He was very loving and trusting of me and very open and honest with me at times. I felt connected, and the friendship blossomed and continued from there. Florence: Do you believe you will be with him exclusively in the future? KS: Oh, I would never be with Wayne exclusively. The thing about loving someone is that you have to love them the way they need to be loved and not the way you want to love them. And Wayne needs to be loved a particular way.
The way I love Wayne is the way he needs to be loved by me. I think when people hear the word love, they only think about romantic love. People think that just because you love someone, that means you have to be with them, but that is ridiculous. According to Greek philosophy, there are six different kinds of love and we love everyone differently.
So, you have to be able to put that person in the right kind of love and have a different language with them. So, the way I love my son is not the way I love Wayne. The way I love Wayne is not the way I love my father.
The zone that Wayne is in with me, in my heart, is not a romantic zone. If they existed, I had no idea. KS: Wayne was the first person, other than my son, who I loved unconditionally.
So, Wayne was the first person who taught me how to love unconditionally. Having to accept that was difficult. This is it. It became all too clear in late , when Wayne began suffering from seizures, how important his life is to me, regardless of what has happened.
Learning unconditional love helped me have healthier relationships, including my current marriage. I will always be grateful to Wayne for that. He saved my life by reminding me who I am and who I was when he met me. I was in a really terrible place in my life, had given up on myself, and was thinking I could never be happy.
I was physically very sick and emotionally drained. It was one of the lowest points of my life. He had just gotten out of prison and it was my first time seeing him in 3 years since he and I stopped talking 2 years before he was locked up. When we were reunited, he reminded me who I was, how beautiful I am, and how smart. He taught me to never forget that. I had forgotten how strong, how amazing--I am so amazing and I had forgotten it! This is the thing about amazing women or amazing people in general.
People are attracted to your light because they want it for themselves. When we were kids in New York, we would visit my dad and catch fireflies because we were so attracted to their light.
People are attracted to me. I forgot I had it because the person I was with captured it, put it in a jar next to his bed, and watched me die. Where did you usually meet them? Karrine: Wayne reached out to a friend of mine. He had a birthday party in LA and my friend was the promoter. That was September I came to the party and they were asking people to say happy birthday to him on the red carpet, for a birthday video.
I left a video message for him, like everyone else did, saying happy birthday and many, many more. I was still standing in the doorway of the club when a fight broke out. So, I kicked off my shoes and ran out, like everyone else.
That was it. He traced me down. So, I would meet people at places like the grocery store. Florence: Your critics define you in a negative light, but how do you define yourself? I am not to be defined. I am all things. I am the queen of everything. Every woman is.
The Vixen Diaries
She belongs to the white ethnicity and holds American nationality. She then featured in The Oprah Winfrey Show. October 2 , Married Damian Karrine Steffans married Damian on October 2, , but this relationship also could run for a lifetime. Rap in
The vixen diaries
Vixen, Karrine Steffans Bares All, and Reveals The Shocking Truth About Lil Wayne